I tend to write so many notes in my phone. Honestly, if you found my phone, you would know so much about who I am and where I am just by going through them. As I sat with a hot chocolate I added yet another note to my phone, and then I scrolled through my old ones and I came across this: “You don’t have to do anything to be wanted by me, Shan” and I suppose it’s in our nature to strive and to try and to work and to want. To want to be wanted. Continue reading


The Fight for Honour

I think about Mulan a lot. Not in a weird obsessive way, but in a reflective and inspired way. The story of Mulan to me really underlines what it is to fight for our Fathers honour. Leslie Ludy said: “God made me a girl. And he did that on purpose. But he asks me to be the kind of girl who is actually useful to his kingdoms purposes. I need to become the sort of girl who is unafraid to poke my head into the battle of the ages and cry out “Who is this uncircumcised philistine who is blaspheming the armies of the living God?” God wants me to wrestle. God wants to stick grit in my girliness. He wants me to be prepared to tangle, to interlock my soul in this eternal combat – not with other girls, not with sweaty boys, but with him, and with the otherworldly powers of darkness. He wants me to wrestle in prayer, to grab ahold of his great and precious promises and fight to see them unfurled in living reality on this earth.” Continue reading

Loving Even When It Hurts

I have to admit, I’ve always found it easier to avoid love. Love is almost always painful. Firstly let me tell you that when I say love I do not mean the cheap notion that books and films often seem to suggest love is. I think we grow up reading about this fairy-tale love which is all about finding the perfect person and living happily ever after. But the Bible tells us love is completely different than that. Love is not just a feeling that we realize when we meet a ‘soul mate’. Love is an active thing, love is a verb.  And the bible says love is for our neighbours, but also our enemies. Continue reading