I tend to write so many notes in my phone. Honestly, if you found my phone, you would know so much about who I am and where I am just by going through them. As I sat with a hot chocolate I added yet another note to my phone, and then I scrolled through my old ones and I came across this: “You don’t have to do anything to be wanted by me, Shan” and I suppose it’s in our nature to strive and to try and to work and to want. To want to be wanted. But precious Jesus, he will always want you. He will always want me. When you’re at your best in the worlds eyes, when you’re at your worst in the worlds eyes – he will want you.
I guess I’m astonished by the notion that God wants everything of us and yet he only wants our hearts – if you had nothing but your heart (and let’s face it, we have nothing to offer huge and brilliant God) he would be content with that. In fact he would be delighted and adoring of that. And that is massive. He wants you as you are. Did you know it’s ok to stop? To stop trying and stop striving. Its ok to give in with hands held up in surrender and let yourself rest. You can be messy if you want, you can stay in bed and leave your hair in a bun. You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to be ok, you don’t have to strive.
I think sometimes, despite knowing the truth, we persuade ourselves that God only wants us when we look our best, when we can lift our hands in church, when we read our bibles for four hours straight. But we need to stop letting that belief keep us from resting in him. God wants you when your hair hasn’t been washed, your arms are weary, and you had no time to read your bible. He wants you anyway. Despite the imperfection, despite the chaos. At the end of the day – everyday bar none – he waits for you. He once promised that when we seek him with all of our hearts we would find him, and he once promised that when we’re broken hearted he is close. Both of those promises are under the old covenant, in the Old Testament. But now, we have unlimited access, whenever, wherever, for always.
God asks that we leave our striving and our good works at the door. He wants you as you are, you don’t have to have anything to offer. Hannah Brencher said it this way “Don’t. Bring. Anything. More. Into. The. Web.” God wants everything. But he wants it all in exchange for himself. Let it all go, because no matter what you do or where you go he will always want you.